Delivery process

This would be one boring posting if you are expecting nice photos to go along with it. It was a journal I wrote soon after Kim was born. So I thot, I'd just post it up for those who really want to read it....like Kimmy perhaps and Peen.

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After debating about the idea for a week and a half, we decided to go for induction. It was week 39 and 2 days when we saw Dr Chua again. She brought up the suggestion of induction, saying we could do so either on Tuesday or Thursday. Saturday was the due date. If we didn’t go for induction, the next time we saw her, baby would be two days late.

Peen didn’t seem very keen about it. I was struggling with the idea cos I guess in my mind, I had always thought that my faith was going to see me through a supernatural birth, which should mean that labour would begin on its own and that it would be a quick and painless process. That I would see God’s hand in it very clearly and it would be something I could share as my testimony.

In the end, I decided for my own sanity that we will give God and my body another two days. If nothing happens by Thu, we will go for the induction. Thu came. Nothing happened. So we went for our appointment which was at 3pm.

Dr Chua examined me. It’s not a pleasant experience to have the cervix examine. Darn painful. She was also trying to stretch it, to expedite the process. :( She said it hadn’t really progressed from the week before. It was only about 1.5cm. So she inserted a tablet which was to try to get the cervix to dilate on its own.

I was in quite a lot of discomfort after the insertion. There was a burning sensation inside and on the outside, it felt like someone had boxed my groin. Peen thought it was rather amusing, the way I had described it. Nothing amusing about it at all tho'.

We went prata and then went home and I tried to get some sleep. We then went for our second appointment at 8pm. My cervix had dilated all of 2cm! Wow, impressive, not! So Dr Chua inserted another tablet. Did I mentioned that it costs about $133 for each insertion? Of course I had yet another unpleasant examination and another insertion of the tablet. I told her about the discomfort I had from the earlier insertion and she concluded that I could possibly be allergic to the gynae cream. After the second insertion, I could hardly stand up straight. It felt like my pelvic floor was going to rupture. I had to bend over and rest my weight on my hands while waiting to settle the bill!

Anyway, somehow we made it home, with me complaining about Peen’s driving over humps. Somehow I made it into bed. Peen went to buy me a Cheeseburger Happy Meal which I was rather happy to eat in bed. Lying down was fine. The contractions had started. They felt like those hunger pangs, a pulling kinda pain. But when I stood up, the pain got more intense. It was the worst when I went to the bathroom. That was excruciating. Like something inside was going to break forth through the pelvic bones.

We started to get ready at about 11.20pm. We were to check in at about midnight and to meet Dr Chua there. We arrived early. I had lots of apprehension and wanted to stay in the car to pray before we went in. I was close to tears but didn’t tell Peen about it. Inside I was questioning why it was happening, or rather not happening according to plan. I was afraid of the unknown.

We went in and were told to go to the 3rd floor where the delivery suites were. I was the directed to Suite 7 and told to change. At this point, Peen was doing the admission stuff.

I was asked if I wanted the enema. I said ok. It was kinda scary cos remember that that was the most excruciating for me….so that was not a pleasant thought. Anyway, I survived it.

Dr Chua came at around 12.30am and broke my water bag, but not without examination how far dilated I was. Yikes. It was a strange sensation having warm water flow out of you just like that. I was only 2.5cm dilated.

I went natural. I could feel the contractions come by and each time, I just tried to breathe slowly. I thought it was the breathing out that helped? But I realized that for me, the pain was less when I inhaled. Off and on the nurses came to check on my blood pressure and the CTG charts, ensuring that I didn’t get enough sleep. Apparently, baby’s heartbeat was kinda fast and the lack of corresponding activity was quite worrying so Dr Chua was called at about 3am. She called back at 4am plus to check again. Baby was better. At some point, the nurse had to use some device to prode and wake the baby.

Dr Chua came by at about 6.30am and examined me. I was 3cm dilated. At this point, she suggested putting me on a drip and giving me epidural so I would relax and not fight the contractions, which could be the reason why I was not dilating as I should be. She also said she was suggesting it because she thinks there is a high possibility that it might end up in a C-Section, in which case, it would just be upping the dosage of the drugs. We agreed.

Dr Wong came. The local anaesthetic was quite painful but nothing prepared me for the sensation of the drugs being pumped in. I was grimacing from the pain caused by the increased pressure in my spine as the drugs were pumped in.

I didn’t have much sensation after that and had to rely on people who were reading the chart to tell me if I was having contractions. I kept checking on whoever came in if baby was doing ok. I was worried for the baby, especially cos of the fast heartbeat. And baby was slightly distressed as from the colour of the fluid from the waterbag.

Dr Chua came by again at 8 plus. I was like 4cm dilated. At least this time, I didn't mind the examination (due to epidural). At that point in time, I was really disappointed. I guess in my mind, I was asking God why. Why my body wasn’t responding in the way it was made to. Why wasn’t I dilating? Why? We decided to go for C-Section as I didn’t want baby to become distressed.

I was then prepped for the procedure. The nurse was ultra annoying. She spoke with this high-pitched voice and was not at all assuring. I was then wheeled into the OT. When Dr Wong increased the drugs, as I lay on the operating table, I felt a tremendous ache come over me. My shoulders and arms were in so much pain that I was worried I won’t stop fidgeting when they cut me up. But he and Dr Chua merely said it was cos I had been lying on my back for the longest time and hence, ached. Whatever. Not convinced.

As I was being cut up, Peen was still not there. I wanted to tell them to halt the procedure until he arrived but he came by shortly.

He said next to me and whispered into my ear. I can’t really remember what he said. I think he was praying. Baby was out really quick. That was when Peen left with the baby to the nursery as I was being sewn together. That was the part when I felt the pain again. I could feel the tugging and the pressing down on the wound. Bearing the pain as much as I could, I remained silent. To the point when I couldn’t bear it no longer, I mentioned that I could feel the pain. At which, Dr Wong replied that it would be over soon. Like that was some form of comfort!

I was then wheeled outside of the OT. It seemed like a corridor that I was in. There I was being checked for my blood pressure and stuff. It seemed like forever before I was wheeled into the lift and along some other corridor. That was where I saw Jen and my Peeny Flea!

After being put in my ward, I was checked again for blood pressure and put on a drip. Finally Peen could come in.

I was so relieved that it was all over. I couldn’t wait to see baby. I had also realized how vulnerable I felt throughout the entire process and how much I had depended on Peen for soundness of mind in making decisions and for strength and assurance. I realized then how much I loved him.

Could that be my answer to all my whys? That I needed this realization?